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Wednesday, July 27, 2011

The New Baby Beluga

So this is number two for us, coming a little sooner than we had planned.  I am currently 5 weeks and two days along, and I found out on July 20th, 2011.

This blog is going to be chronicling my journey with the new little monster as I really wish I had done with Eli.  There is so much of my pregnancy with him that I don't remember and I wish I did.  I don't have any belly pictures with him other than when I was going into the hospital for delivery.

They layout of this blog may change along the way, especially when we find out the gender (which I'm sure is boy).  Can't very well have boy themed blog if I've got a little lady on the way.  I'll fall into the stereotypes and I'm completely okay with that.

So today I will talk about the dreams.  I have always had pretty vivid dreams, many I can remember from my childhood, many of them not good.  My dreams tend to go towards the dramatic which is the complete opposite of me in real life.  I have no place for drama, I don't have time for it.  Who knows, maybe my subconscious is trying to make up for the lack of drama in my life by filling my head with it when I sleep.  The dream last night was of a miscarriage.  I gave birth to my tiny baby.  This is not the first time that I've had this dream, either.  I held her tiny little body with her perfect tiny features and I told her how much I loved her and I cried.  I know that in reality my baby right now looks more like a little seahorse than a person, but that doesn't much matter in dreams, and honestly (in my dream world) if that mean that I get to see her face before saying goodbye I am perfectly fine with that.

Of course I have dreams about other stuff as well, not always miscarriage or losing a baby, but they are also very vivid and very real.  Sometimes I look forward to my dreams, they are like tiny movies playing in my head and exercising my brain while I am asleep, and other times I wish I could just turn them off.  The times when I wake up with adrenaline pumping through my veins and feeling my heart beating through my chest, those times I can do without.

I think the exhaustion is starting to hit me, I remember it being horrible in the first trimester.  My schedule now is more crazy than ever: wake up at 5-5:30 AM get ready for work, wake the babe up at 6:00 AM and take him to the sitter.  Drive my hour and a half into work, work from 8-4:30, drive my hour and a half (sometimes two) back home to pick up the babe, home by 6:30-7, dinner, play, bath if needed (for him) and he's in bed by 8:30-9.  I have a chance to get my clothes laid out for work in the morning, straighten the house, and try to get a shower in before I fall into my bed.  I think this schedule is going to be the death of me.

I suppose that is all for now.

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