Total Pageviews

Thursday, January 26, 2012

We're getting there!

Baby Mischa

Yesterday daddy surprised mommy by painting almost the entire nursery!  Your dad hates painting very much (I love to paint) so it was a huge surprise!  He also put your crib up next to your big brother's so you two will be able to sleep close to one another and hopefully become best friends.

I'm 31 weeks pregnant this week, almost 32, can you believe it?  In about 8 weeks you will be home with us, in our arms.  We're so excited!  Your big brother kissed you through my tummy the other night, it was the sweetest thing.

Our next appointment is on 01/30/12, so this coming Monday.  I'm really hoping we can schedule your birthday (since mommy has to have surgery).  I don't like picking your birthday, I would rather have you pick your own, but I love you and as long as you make it safe and sound that's all that matters to us.

You're a feisty little girl, too, you love to kick mommy when she wakes up to go to the bathroom at night, letting me know that you won't let me get back to sleep anytime soon.  I suppose I should get used to it now since we'll be up all night with late night feedings for a long time.

We're having a hard time coming up with a middle name for you, we have many ideas but nothing has hit us as  "perfect" yet.  We'll get there, don't you worry.

We love you baby girl!  Please arrive healthy and screaming.

Thursday, January 12, 2012

29 weeks

I almost messed up how many weeks I am, ha ha.  29 weeks, almost 30.  I know I say it all the time but how did this happen?  I suppose one day at a time but jeez, it went by so quickly.

I'm hoping at my next appointment I can schedule my c-section and get that out of the way.  I'm still pretty sad about having to have another section but I'll take it over me or Mischa dying.

I know it sounds silly, but I WANT labor.  I want to feel the contractions, to know that that pain is my body doing what it was supposed to do.  My body completely failed me last time, lack of contractions, I never had any braxton hicks even.  This pregnancy is so different, I get contractions daily and I feel like if things hadn't gone so wrong last time that this birth would be exactly as it should be.  Oh well, let by-gones by by-gones.

Our next appointment is on the 30th, a little less than three weeks from now.  It's so comforting to feel her move between appointments, it reassures me that everything is as it should be.

I feel like I worry too much about infant death, I worry too much that Mischa won't make it.  Husband was talking about getting a tattoo for her on the weekend and I would not let him.  I don't want him to jinx her coming into this world and I said that there was no guarantee that she would make it, there's still two months where things can go horribly horribly wrong, and then a year after that where SIDS could still be an issue.  He thinks I'm crazy for thinking this way, but I guess when you've been up close and personal with infant death it's not something that leaves your mind, especially when pregnant with your child.

Either way, I'm going to treasure every second I have with my baby girl, just like I do with my chicken butt, because that's how it should be.  I think people forget all too often how precious life is and they take way too much for granted.

I love you baby Mischa, I can't wait to see your little nose and beautiful eyes, and to hear that very first scream.

I'll leave off with one of my favorite quotes that I think about daily:

It kills you to see them grow up. But I guess it would kill you quicker if they didn't.
- Barbara Kingsolver

Wednesday, January 4, 2012


You have a name!  Your daddy and I both love it, and even your big brother is learning how to say it.  Mischa, it means God's gift which you most certainly are.  I'm still iffy on your middle name because it sounds almost identical to your cousin's name and that really bothers me.  I'm human enough to admit that I don't like your daddy's sister so I don't want her thinking she had anything to do with your beautiful name.

We had a checkup yesterday and like usual you were being stubborn for the doc, he had a hard time finding your heartbeat but when he did it was like a war drum!  Loud and clear, little girl.  Your big brother got to hear it too and he thought it was so fun.

We've only got about two months before we meet baby girl, can you believe how fast it's going?  I can't.  We don't have your crib set up yet and we're in the middle of painting your room.  Daddy dropped a gallon of paint on your carpet yesterday and now you have a nice grey stain on the floor, but at least it matches the wall, right?

We love you, Mischa.  Keep growing big and healthy.