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Wednesday, August 24, 2011

First appointment.

I don't know where to start.  It was a long one, mostly due to the horrendous birth and events thereafter with Eli.  My nurses went over my history and we filled out paperwork, that part was pretty easy because it was still filled out from last time, just a few things to update.  And just as a side note, but it just makes me laugh, they have to ask me every time if I smoke.  I've never smoke a single cigarrette in my life and I never plan to, but now is definitely not the time to start.  I joked around with her and said yes, I decided to start right now because I really want to lose some weight and I figured this was as good a time as any, ha ha.

Then my doc comes in, I absolutely love him.  He and I are so incredibly on the same page that sometimes it blows my mind.  He took about 5 minutes to look through all the notes from my hospital stay with Eli (and cracked jokes about me having too many notes, and don't I know to stay away from these ob people, ha ha).  After he was done he said:  "Okay, well, what I'm about to tell you I'm sure will not be earth shattering".  Basically what he said was that while he is a HUGE supporter of VBAC, in my case he thinks that my body just wasn't made to birth normally.  He said that he really thinks it is in both my and the baby's best interest to do a repeat c-section.  It isn't about the worry of rupture.  He came to this decision because of the fact that I was in labor for 50 hours and never dilated past 3-4 cm, never fully effaced, Eli never came down to the birth canal.  It just wasn't happening.  He wants to avoid all the complications I went through last time, and I completely respect that.  I basically told him that while I am sad that I'll never have a normal birthing experience, I do agree with his decision and in the end as long as both the baby and I are alive and healthy really that is all that matters.  He stated that he didn't really see the need for an ultrasound at this point because we are very sure of the dates, which is also fine with me because there isn't much to see at this point anyway.

Then it was time to hop up on the dreaded table.  So he checks my lungs, heart, blah blah blah.  Time for the pelvic exam.  This is my second go around and honestly all my modesty has gone out the window, and either way he just has a very comforting presence about him.  He does the pap smear which I didn't even feel (crazy for me since I usually end up bleeding everywhere and can feel everything).  Then time for the "internal" exam.  Another reason I like my doctor:  even when he's got his fingers jammed up in me and is pushing on my uterus he can still make me laugh.  We were talking about an author and he was recommending some of her books to me, and just telling me about some of the funny passages that he has remembered over time and I was just cracking up! 

He got out the doppler to try to find a heartbeat (mind you I'm only 9 weeks so the chances aren't great).  It was at this point that I mentioned that I just felt so much more pregnant at this stage than I did with Eli.  He mentioned that since I said something he noticed it as well and wanted to measure.  When he did he came up with 13 cm, which he said normal for this point is about 5 cm.  So either I am further along than we think, my uterus is very stretchy this time around, or there is more than one.  Crazy!  So we get on with the doppler.  After about 5 minutes he was not able to find anything.  He said that it could be due to the fact that I'm only 9 weeks and the baby is so small, and coupled with the fact that the baby has so much room to run around in there it is just hard to find.  Since I'm still having really bad pregnancy symptoms it wasn't something he was worried about, but he said "well, you just earned yourself an ultrasound."  Yay my body! 

I can't say that I wasn't worried.  Since I have some pretty decent anxiety issued the next 2 hours were spent totally freaking out and then reminding myself that I've got a lot more cushion this time around for the doppler to try to get through, and the baby is just so tiny. 

The ultrasound went great.  Baby's heartrate is right where it should be at 175, measuring right on track at 9w1d as of yesterday, so spot on there, only 1, tech said my uterus is just being rather "generous" with this baby, ha ha.  I can't really blame it, though.  Eli was a big one and I just had him a little over a year ago.

So all in all it was a little stressful, but so good to see that little flicker and hear that woosh woosh woosh.  The only thing that makes me laugh is I hear people say all the time how their babies are just swimming all around in there, mine never have.  They always just chill and let the ultrasound people get what they need, ha ha.

I guess that's all.  Just happy everything is as it should be.

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