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Friday, March 16, 2012

So close!

Oh, Mischa!  We're so close to finally seeing your beautiful face!  Your brother has been quite hard on you lately, hasn't he?  He's a crazy fun little boy so I apologize in advance if he's too much for you at first, ha ha.

I cannot wait to see you, I love you so much!

Tuesday, March 6, 2012

03/06/2012

I've been neglecting this space lately.  I just really don't know what to write, to be honest.

Still waiting for you to come into our lives and into our arms, we've got two weeks left before you make your beautiful appearance.  I learned at our last appointment when I met with the surgeon that I will be able to hold you immediately after the c-section, still covered in everything you were swimming in inside of me!  You don't even know how happy that makes me, baby girl.  I want so badly to comfort you as soon as you come out, to try to feed you and love you and keep you warm.  I want to look into your beautiful eyes, listen as you cry your first cries, hold you against my chest and tell you everything will be fine.

I want you so badly I can't even put it into words.

We love you, Mischa, and eagerly await your arrival.  It will be beautiful.

Love,
Mommy, Daddy, and the Chicken

Thursday, February 16, 2012

You have a birthday!

Hey there, little one!  Our doctor called today and we FINALLY have a date set for your arrival.  You will come into this world via repeat c-section (sadface) on March 21st!

We cannot wait to meet you.

Love,
Mommy, Daddy, and the chicken.

Friday, February 3, 2012

Almost 33 weeks

Our appointment this week went well, but we didn't get to set the date for the c-section.  In a way it's kind of nice because I don't have to think about it, whereas if we set the date that makes it more real.  I'm terrified of another c-section, too much went wrong and it was too close last time.  The only good thing that happened was Eli was born perfectly healthy, and I'm just going to say that you will be too, baby girl and if that is the case it doesn't really matter what else happens.  I just want to meet and kiss and hug your beautiful face.

You were hiding a little bit when they tried to check your heart rate but eventually you quit being stubborn.  You're going strong at a great 150 bpm!  That's what I like to hear, little girl.

I finished painting your room on Tuesday, I really really like it.  All I have to do now is put your name up on the wall, as well as your brother's, and we are good to go!

6-7 weeks, Mischa, and you will be here with us, in our arms.

We love you.

Thursday, January 26, 2012

We're getting there!

Baby Mischa

Yesterday daddy surprised mommy by painting almost the entire nursery!  Your dad hates painting very much (I love to paint) so it was a huge surprise!  He also put your crib up next to your big brother's so you two will be able to sleep close to one another and hopefully become best friends.

I'm 31 weeks pregnant this week, almost 32, can you believe it?  In about 8 weeks you will be home with us, in our arms.  We're so excited!  Your big brother kissed you through my tummy the other night, it was the sweetest thing.

Our next appointment is on 01/30/12, so this coming Monday.  I'm really hoping we can schedule your birthday (since mommy has to have surgery).  I don't like picking your birthday, I would rather have you pick your own, but I love you and as long as you make it safe and sound that's all that matters to us.

You're a feisty little girl, too, you love to kick mommy when she wakes up to go to the bathroom at night, letting me know that you won't let me get back to sleep anytime soon.  I suppose I should get used to it now since we'll be up all night with late night feedings for a long time.

We're having a hard time coming up with a middle name for you, we have many ideas but nothing has hit us as  "perfect" yet.  We'll get there, don't you worry.

We love you baby girl!  Please arrive healthy and screaming.

Thursday, January 12, 2012

29 weeks

I almost messed up how many weeks I am, ha ha.  29 weeks, almost 30.  I know I say it all the time but how did this happen?  I suppose one day at a time but jeez, it went by so quickly.

I'm hoping at my next appointment I can schedule my c-section and get that out of the way.  I'm still pretty sad about having to have another section but I'll take it over me or Mischa dying.

I know it sounds silly, but I WANT labor.  I want to feel the contractions, to know that that pain is my body doing what it was supposed to do.  My body completely failed me last time, lack of contractions, I never had any braxton hicks even.  This pregnancy is so different, I get contractions daily and I feel like if things hadn't gone so wrong last time that this birth would be exactly as it should be.  Oh well, let by-gones by by-gones.

Our next appointment is on the 30th, a little less than three weeks from now.  It's so comforting to feel her move between appointments, it reassures me that everything is as it should be.

I feel like I worry too much about infant death, I worry too much that Mischa won't make it.  Husband was talking about getting a tattoo for her on the weekend and I would not let him.  I don't want him to jinx her coming into this world and I said that there was no guarantee that she would make it, there's still two months where things can go horribly horribly wrong, and then a year after that where SIDS could still be an issue.  He thinks I'm crazy for thinking this way, but I guess when you've been up close and personal with infant death it's not something that leaves your mind, especially when pregnant with your child.

Either way, I'm going to treasure every second I have with my baby girl, just like I do with my chicken butt, because that's how it should be.  I think people forget all too often how precious life is and they take way too much for granted.

I love you baby Mischa, I can't wait to see your little nose and beautiful eyes, and to hear that very first scream.

I'll leave off with one of my favorite quotes that I think about daily:

It kills you to see them grow up. But I guess it would kill you quicker if they didn't.
- Barbara Kingsolver

Wednesday, January 4, 2012

Mischa

You have a name!  Your daddy and I both love it, and even your big brother is learning how to say it.  Mischa, it means God's gift which you most certainly are.  I'm still iffy on your middle name because it sounds almost identical to your cousin's name and that really bothers me.  I'm human enough to admit that I don't like your daddy's sister so I don't want her thinking she had anything to do with your beautiful name.

We had a checkup yesterday and like usual you were being stubborn for the doc, he had a hard time finding your heartbeat but when he did it was like a war drum!  Loud and clear, little girl.  Your big brother got to hear it too and he thought it was so fun.

We've only got about two months before we meet baby girl, can you believe how fast it's going?  I can't.  We don't have your crib set up yet and we're in the middle of painting your room.  Daddy dropped a gallon of paint on your carpet yesterday and now you have a nice grey stain on the floor, but at least it matches the wall, right?

We love you, Mischa.  Keep growing big and healthy.